Jenny wants me to send the link for the chit chat group. She is going to send it. She has thought about it. And she is just going to do it. It is polite and fair.
Why does she wish to send it? What purpose will it serve?
Because she worked hard on it. Not only that. Because she wants to make a statement so that people know that she has not abandoned them. If I do not give her the link, she will get it from someone else. It will only take a little longer.
I think that what Jenny has written is indeed polite and fair. She has put a lot of thought and hard work into it, and this needs to be paid back in some way. I believe that the WhatsApp groups are not the most conducive environments for making those sorts of statements. There are other places where she can share it such as within her own groups and through DMs to those who reach out to her.
I agree that it is important to get the truth out there, I am saying that there are better ways of doing it.
Jenny could send it to the whole Meetup mailing list. Exactly. 20s & 30s. 7490 emails, boom 💥 job done. Better to do that than on those WhatsApp groups. That way, it is on her terms and on her territory. She cannot go wrong.
That is a good idea. Clever. She is more likely to be attacked on the WhatsApp group. Because it is not her territory anymore.
Exactly my thoughts. I think that if she put herself in an arena where people can criticise or take advantage, they will. She can still say the same without putting herself in that position.
I think that it needs a conclusory paragraph to outline her agenda / roadmap going forwards. It could be something simple like:
I have written this statement with a view to outlining the facts and I would be happy to discuss any queries or concerns with members in more detail. Members are welcome to reach me via [email] / [number]. In the meantime, we have reinstated the Saturday bar Meetup events alternating early/Retro and late/Little Ku (as per prior to lockdown), with the Green Park Meetup events taking place on a Sunday. We hope that you will join us! Lastly, thank you for your continued support and dedication to the group, it is extremely valued and appreciated! We look forward to seeing you again in the coming weeks.
Just to show that she is pressing ahead with her agenda and not much at all is changed but she is open to discussing / alleviating any concerns. It also ends it on a more positive note rather than the last line being about leaving the WhatsApp group.
The problem is that she condensed it from 5 pages to 1. And that is as short as she can make it. So she does not know what she could remove to make it 1 page. Because even 1 more word would spill it over to 2 pages. But she likes my idea.
It does not need to fit onto 1 page. This paragraph will not add much.
I have seen messages which refer to betrayal, tyranny and how some feel unable to trust the LGBT+ 20s & 30s group. I therefore wish to give my perspective on what occurred last week.
"We couldn't believe it!"
"In retrospect, I should have responded differently." - not needed
"I guess" (sounds a bit unsure of yourself)
"I should have dealt with the situation differently." - again, not needed
Why? I think that she is self-subjugating. In short, she does not owe anyone an apology! 🙅♂️
I switched some phrases around to make them less subjective / more objective.
I took out anywhere it said "I felt" - stronger to simply state the facts, rather than presenting it as a personal perspective.
It is better to say "I did XYZ" rather than "XYZ was done" - to clarify that she was the one organising everything.
"I appreciate that the cancellation of the Green Park event is disappointing to many."
Green Park event was never cancelled, all you did was move it to Sunday
It does not need to be on one page. If she is sending it in a message, no-one reading it will be counting words 😉
The bits about "betrayal", "tyranny", "lack of trust" etc need to be in apostrophes to clarify that these are falsehoods.
Rather than giving her perspective, her job is to:
That way. she is showing the members that she is on their side, whilst still sticking to the agenda of the group. It sounds stronger. Then she can go on to clarify that she organised an outdoor s event, a WhatsApp group etc.
I took out the "I felt" in paragraph 3 because others felt it too (see HZ's message on 31st May for example), about the ethos of the group, less subjective, less about her and more about the group in general. Stop putting it all on her. 😉😘
Play down the fact that she has never met them. Play up the fact that she delegated and apportioned trust.
[11:34, 31/05/2021] HZ: I just wanna say something and please correct me if I'm wrong...
HZ's message (20s / 30s Bucket 1). Jenny is still the admin of this group. She could even reply / quote to this message with the same statement in this group once she has sent the statement to the 7489 members of the Meetup page.
I am not sure that she should even mention anything to do with "betrayal”, “tyranny” and “lack of trust”, I am concerned by stating it in those terms, it might be inviting people to think that. She can still address those concerns without quoting those words or repeating / endorsing the words of other people.
Maybe it might be better to simply say that she has received messages of concern and that she wishes to alleviate those concerns.
I cannot stop thinking about this. I want to help as much as possible.
I think that repeating those words is like manifesting them and she does not want to do that. 🙅♂️
True! She will remove those words. I have a good brain on me! She did not even think about planting the seed. But it is true that using those terms might.
Replace 1st paragraph with:
"I have received messages of concern from some LGBT+ 20s & 30s Meetup group members. Therefore, I wish to present the facts on what occurred last week, to alleviate those concerns and address any other questions that you might have."
Replace "received" with "seen". They are messages that she has seen on a WhatsApp group, not necessarily messages that have been sent to her privately.
[18:41, 31/07/2021] Lily: We don't need a shared group chat, these are not separate, non-competing meetups
Regarding the "What in the actual gay" WhatsApp group (the 2nd one created by me), I went with my gut instinct and did what I felt was right. Now, I realise that my intention was not for it to be a "shared group chat" or open-ended conversation. I was simply creating a digital space in which I could deliver 1 clear, objective message to 5 people at the same time. More powerful if they could witness it in a group context. It was never intended to lead to a conversation / discussion (regardless of whatever collateral / follow-up happened afterwards). I was simply outlining how it will be going forwards. No discussion. No debate. Wielding the Last Word.
[20:32, 31/07/2021] Lily: @Rory Duffy do you want to explain wth is going on?
Job done, as far as I am concerned. I do not need to respond or follow up to Lily's message or indeed any of the other messages prior to that. If Lily would like explanation on what is going on, she can simply re-read my message. Easy. The sole purpose of that "What in the actual gay" WhatsApp group was nothing more than a virtual space for me to serve that 1 single message (outlining my take on all of this, i.e., "WTF is going on") to 5 people at once. Plant a seed. Boom. 💣 💥
20s & 30s
Queer Park Rebels
Send it to:
I advised Jenny to hold off sending until tomorrow morning first thing before she starts work, when she is feeling fresh. People will also be more likely to read it in the morning. Once sent, she should reward herself with an ice cream or a mid-morning pastry.
Rory spent the first few years of his life in an ice cave, carving out his palace of wonder. He's a bit of a love doll, but he who melts the ice shall have his reward.
332 Brixton Road
Samaritans, 24 hours, on 116123 or email:
I have been recommended to acknowledge and process all that I have been though, where it all started from how it has affected me.