I removed "allegations about donations". I cannot remember what was said. There is no point dredging it up.
I have tweaked it slightly. Here is the latest version.
Jenny would add back in that bit about allegations because she has been sent screenshots about "Jenny not being transparent and accountable (financially or otherwise)". Lily is definitely spreading this idea that Jenny is in some way profiting from it, which is extremely hurtful. Over the past 4 years, Jenny has spent about £800 on Meetup fees and only got a few hundred in donations. She is happy to release PayPal statements over the past 4 years. They were set up as donations. PayPal has a way that lets you release all of the info. She has always lost money, particularly during the pandemic. There have also been occasions when she rented spaces (e.g., the Piccadilly Circus event, she cannot remember the name but it cost £200 to rent the whole venue for the night. She would wager that even with donations (recent or previous), she is probably out about £700. She was never able to defend herself from that, too, so it is particularly unfair. It would be hurtful even if she were breaking even. But she finds it particularly hurtful given everything.
OK, understood. I will add that bit back in. I definitely agree how hurtful this is. This once happened to me with a wedding gig client who tried to fleece me. Not the same situation. But I can definitely relate to the double whammy aspect. It sucks.
They [admins] think that because people donated during the mini pride that members behave like that normally. The only reason people donated was because they were around the circle of people. Any time that Jenny mentions donations on the group, she will not get a donation, the majority of the time. Before the mini pride, any time that she mentioned it, Niall was the only person who did. People will not donate if there is no social pressure or something that they can get out of it. Rant over!
I guess that I have not seen it because it was posted after I was removed on Tuesday night. I am sorry that Jenny had to see this 2nd hand (through Lara). 😞 🤦♂️
I can see what the admins are doing. They are gradually whittling out members who are not aligned with their "coup" in order to create a unified rival group.
Jenny would not say "I agree that it was not ethnical". There was nothing unethical about what I did. They included me in their organisers group and I wanted to help. No-one in their right mind would see that as wrong and she was shocked when she saw that accusation. Mental gymnastics. I could say something like "I appreciate that you felt concern..." or something, if I want to try and take some responsibility. But I should not say that it was unethical because it was not.
Maybe I am not in the loop. Jenny assumed someone would have told me. She momentarily joined yesterday to be like "that is not true, Rory was not trying to steal anything" and posted the screenshot of me trying to help. She did not like that they had banned me for trying to help.
Lily: Now regarding Jenny who's disgruntled because she created "this meetup" years ago.
[15:38, 04/08/2021] Jenny: Some clarity for you all, since Rory has been banned. Rory didn't steal anything. He's the kind of guy who wants to please everyone and doesn't like feuds or disagreements (read 'nice guy, people pleaser'). He previously had a meetup called 'Gay Society' with 2000+ members. I was listed as a co-organiser but only ever ran speed dating events through it. When all the shiz went down the other week, he decided that a good compromise would be to rebrand that meetup with the logo and name these guys made, as a way to help out - a ready made meetup group with 2000+ members, what a blessing most would consider that! I only found out about Rory's new idea when I was added to a WhatsApp group for it, created by Rory. Although I found it presumptuous and inappropriate given everything that had recently occurred, I understood that Rory was simply trying to help. I was never going to collaborate or agree with the idea but I always understood that Rory just wanted to accommodate everyone involved. To suggest that he has stolen or had some sort of ill intent is completely ridiculous.
[15:42, 04/08/2021] Anna: While we appreciate he was trying to help, he did it one sidedly without running it through anyone else in the group, including Sam L who came up with the logos/content etc.
[15:42, 04/08/2021] Anna: While we appreciate he was trying to help, he did it one sidedly without running it through anyone else in the group, including Sam who came up with the logos/content etc.
[16:01, 04/08/2021] Lily: I would like to clarify why it is a problem that Rory ghosted us and then created the page with our imagery and sent us that message.
Anna paused the chat when Jenny said that and banned her. She only sent those 2 messages. She could not stand them trying to accuse me of stealing things in front of everyone. Lara told her about it. They were dissing me in front of everyone. So, she joined to say that. Then she was banned.
It is true about me keeping quiet. I totally agree with Lara. That is what I did on Tuesday night, although I was sitting there petrified watching the whole thing unfold. I sent 1 message and I was banned.
[00:58, 04/08/2021] Rory Duffy: Hi everyone!
[16:34, 04/08/2021] Lara: "Someone I know was cut off the other day and the admins were told by him that it wasn't a way to handle a conversation. The same happened yesterday and today... whilst a select few then all chuck in a 5minute rant each. There's no need for all of this. Nothing further to add thanks."
Lara was referring to the discussion about Caitlin (Read More: 03/08/2021). It was inappropriately handled. Anna said that they would not disclose the reasons why she was banned. Subsequently, Claire went and did precisely that! Thereby inviting open commentary. It was a shit show. Disgraceful. I could not believe it. Totally indiscreet.
Lara said that it was Yasmin who spilled the beans?
No, Yasmin looked like she was about to. Claire spilt the beans.
[19:37, 02/08/2021] CL Best of luck everyone.
[22:21, 02/08/2021] Claire: Hi all, many of you have noticed CL has left, after we asked them to leave the group and all in person events.
The admins, once they had each given their 2 cents, forcefully shut down the discussion. Despite requests from a couple of members to post the official source material (which is publicly available anyway).
[22:56, 02/08/2021] Jonathan: Please can the source of this information be shared - I don’t see what harm this would have - it would surely help to qwell any misinformation / gossip rather than encourage it, thanks
[22:40, 02/08/2021] Sam L: Okay that's enough of the conversation here please. Like Claire said we don't want this to become a witch hunt. We also want to reduce the amount of triggering content in the chat. So let's stop this discussion here, thanks
[22:42, 02/08/2021] Claire: Please respect the admins here guys. We'd like this to be the end of the conversation
[22:58, 02/08/2021] Anna: Guys please refrain from piling on. If you have any further questions please pm an admin
The admins advocated a "safe space", yet initiated a witch hunt (through the act of saying that they did not want a witch hunt) and prevented members from accessing the official information that might help them protect themselves ?!? 🤷♂️
[22:32, 02/08/2021] Claire: We don't want this to be a witch hunt.
[22:57, 02/08/2021] Jonathan: This is not how you handle a conversation
Jonathan was right that this was no way to handle a conversation. A voice of reason among the madness.
Exactly. Jenny knows that another couple of people have spoken out. Phil, Tony, Niall. She is sure that there are others.
I agree with "transparency" in general. However, it should not be employed to ill effect. By expressing the wish to not incite a "witch hunt" yet disclosing the reasons so publicly - is doing precisely that, encouraging gossip etc. 😔
Or "drama" as they call it.
Yes. They are the dramatic ones!
Exactly, the "drama" is only fuelled by people's responses and reactions to what is said, those admins perpetuate and fan flames. 🔥
This is what Lara said to Jenny (privately).
[16:27, 04/08/2021] Lara: Nice, some people are saying things like this comment: "Really not liking the tone and approach of muting and banning here either"
[16:33, 04/08/2021] Lara: "All right guys, I'll step down as an admin for a while then."
I have tweaked both bits that Jenny suggested:
I appreciate your concern about me using the name, branding and imagery to create the Meetup page before consulting the other admins. But given how Jenny was treated and hurtful allegations were made against her openly on a WhatsApp group behind her back about donations/financial transparency etc., at the time, I felt that this was warranted.
I appreciate your concern about me using the name, branding and imagery to create the Meetup page before consulting the other admins. But given how hurtful allegations were made against Jenny openly on a WhatsApp group behind her back about donations/financial transparency etc., in addition to how she had been treated, at the time, I felt that this was warranted.
We can always expand if Lily needs me to. 👍
I doubt that she will, though.
Yes. Sounds good. Jenny would completely withdraw the offer of them using my group. At this point, it is just feeding vultures.
Fair enough, I will take that bit out. It is true that I have already offered that to them twice.
[18:37, 31/07/2021] Rory Duffy:
[06:18, 04/08/2021] Rory Duffy: I hope that this is satisfactory, please be assured you are welcome to list the Green park meetups on my page if it is still useful to spread the word, just let me know and I will set you up as an event organiser
Why should I need to offer that to them a 3rd time? They are missing out. Let Lily do the asking. We can negotiate if it comes to that. If enough people act hostile towards the admins to warrant them shutting down the WhatsApp chat, we can exchange the listing of events on LGS in return for Jenny re-acquiring the WhatsApp chat. But let us cross that bridge if and when we come to it.
Tabbed is the latest version. Jenny says that this looks great.
I will send now. 👍
Done - sent. ✅
Edits that I might have made after sending to Lily (for my own personal satisfaction):
20s & 30s
London Gay Society
Queer Park Rebels
[14:05, 05/08/2021] Rory Duffy: Hi Lily
Rory spent the first few years of his life in an ice cave, carving out his palace of wonder. He's a bit of a love doll, but he who melts the ice shall have his reward.
332 Brixton Road
Samaritans, 24 hours, on 116123 or email:
I have been recommended to acknowledge and process all that I have been though, where it all started from how it has affected me.