By this point, my self esteem was at an all time low and my self subjugation was coming out strongly.
I had developed an unhealthy emotional attachment with Roger. I was lovesick and diminished. To such an extent that I was fishing for him to say something more than kind comments about my musicianship. This is why I was putting myself down before him. So that he could pick me back up again.
On 5 January 2016 at 16:05, Roger wrote:
Rory spent the first few years of his life in an ice cave, carving out his palace of wonder. He's a bit of a love doll, but he who melts the ice shall have their reward.
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I have been recommended to acknowledge and process all that I have been though, where it all started from how it has affected me.