Someone contacted you. He is into you. He wants to be your boyfriend. You are going to see him on Monday and spend the night with him.
This sounds dubious. Massive alarm bells ringing!
He does not live in the same city as you. You would like to go and see him, too.
Do go and see him, for sure.
You decided that you would like to see him and spend the night together in the hotel room.
Stick to your agenda. I would not sleep with him on 1st meeting. Do not stay over! Have a backup plan. Sort out your own accommodation. Please do not sleep over with him on 1st meeting. You do not know him yet. You have not met him. Sleeping together might raise the precedent. I have been there. There is a danger of finding yourself emotionally entangled too soon. Or mis-manage expectations.
He is looking for a relationship, though. Is that what you want? Yes. An open relationship. That is what you said to him, too. He said that it is fine.
Which is better:
A long-term relationship. OK. But what if it is a long-term relationship with someone who is not right for you? How would you define "long-term? Just playing Devil's advocate. How would you define exactly what you want? How does that line up, realistically, with what someone else wants? Not all points may line up. Keep an open mind. Remain open to the possibility that he may be not who you are looking for. That is why it is sometimes positive to slow down. Not sleep with someone on the 1st meeting (I have made this mistake before). Otherwise, you could either hurt yourself or hurt him.
He seems to be rushing. Exactly. He does not even know you. I am not saying that you would hurt someone intentionally. But imagine if you slept with him. And afterwards, you decided that you are not actually able to sustain this feeling. Or imagine if he felt that he was not able to be your "boyfriend" after sleeping with you. It might hurt you. The problem is inconsistency. When someone says that they would like to be your "boyfriend" having never met you. That is a grey area. Neither of you know the true meaning of that unless you have experienced it. The experience might not match up to what is in your minds. It might not be what you expect. That is OK. But sleeping with someone straight away blurs those boundaries. It makes matters more confusing.
I would say definitely meet him. But talk. Do activities. Share interests. Build a friendship. That way, you will not let yourself become consumed by it. You retain a sense of self. Your own boundaries. Your own expectations. Look back over your previous friendships, too. Think how things were done before, and how you might do things this time around in relation to that. So that you are not letting yourself be put in a position of vulnerability. Where someone might ghost you, block you or do something else that you do not like. Those things cannot be changed in other people. There are measures that you can put in place to ensure that those things do not affect you. Tweaking your armour in a way that allows energy to flow in the right directions, in a way that serves your interests. I know that this is vague. But something to keep in mind.
Let me re-phrase that question. Do you want to be HIS boyfriend, or do you want to be A boyfriend to someone?
HIS boyfriend. You did not ask that. He asked you first.
How does he know that (he wants you to be his boyfriend)? Why is he trying to label something that has not yet been defined? It puts unneeded pressure on yourselves to act a certain way when around each other. It is not natural. It is better to spend time with someone first and see how things go. Without trying to label. It is like trying to label or define something before it even exists. You might be looking for A boyfriend. Or AN open relationship. He may well fit your criteria. Or he may not. At this point, you do not know.
What I am trying to say is ensure that he is right for YOU, based on what YOU want. Him saying that he is looking for a relationship or an open relationship is fine and everything. But his concept of what that constitutes may differ from your concept. That is why it is best to spend time with him first, initially as a friend, and give yourselves the opportunity to see whether you enjoy one another's company, in person. Before trying to define or label it. There might be things that you disagree on. You might be able to work through those things. Or they might be dealbreakers. You do not know yet. Otherwise, it is one person projecting their own idea of "boyfriend" or "relationship" on the other person. 2 people might not necessarily agree on what that is exactly, or what it means. It is great that you have found someone who you feel optimistic about and who you wish to try with. I am happy about that. But do not let this blind you.
It is good that you are going to the library. Who knows if he might "stand you up" like the guy allegedly did on Christmas Day? Sorting out your own accommodation is also good. Putting in all the measures you can to ensure you remain an autonomous individual with your own agenda and what you want to do, keeping your options open. I am not saying that he will "stand you up". Or that you will not wish to sleep over at a later point at all. I am simply saying to not put all of the "control" in another person. Allow yourself to maintain a backup plan in case the meeting / atmosphere is not what you expect. Before you know who you are getting yourself involved with or what you are signing up for. He might look cute and handsome. But will he turn up on time? Or plan things in advance like you do? Those things are also important. Will he treat you with kindness? Will he respect your space? Will he communicate enough so that you know where you stand with him? He might say "yes" if you ask him those questions (because he wants it to be true) but listening to his actions and not only his words are important. These are only examples of things that might present themselves later.
Take your time. There is no need to rush. You are young. 😌
Take the time to know someone. Enjoy his company, the time that you spend together. There is no need or pressure to define or label it "boyfriend" status.
That is a long explanation. I hope that it is helpful. Read it again and again. I am happy to clarify or answer anything that you are unsure of.
He is keen on you. He texted you saying good night 😴
You have some mutual interests. The other day, you asked him what he would like to do normally. Things in common that you have include watching TV and travelling.
That is nice. But again, I feel like you are focusing too much on him and not enough on yourself. It is easy to wish someone good night. He might be doing that because he likes you. I would recommend spending time with him in person to see whether or not you like him. Difficult, I know, given the current circumstances. TV and travelling are 2 wide areas of interest. You never know, he might enjoy those interests from a different angle. Having common interests is positive, of course, but not necessarily the definer of compatibility. Enjoy discovering those mutual interests. Try watching TV with him. Or going on a walk if he likes travelling. Work your way through those experiences together. To see how you feel around him and whether you like spending time with him. He may be into completely different TV shows. He may bug you by talking over it and making conversation while you are watching TV, when you only want to watch. Regarding travelling, he may plan things at the last minute, be a thrifty spender or go places and not do anything at all. We are all different and individual in many ways. It is the shared experiences that define how people work with each other. You never know. By all means, meet him, spend time with him, enjoy discovering, getting to know him. But do not be pressured to feel a certain way around him because he feels a certain way about you. You can interact with someone on many different levels.
I think that it is nice that he is wishing you a good night. It does not have to necessarily mean that he is keen on you. He could be keen on you now and then something might change later on. Anything could happen. You do not know. Enjoy the finding out, the time that you spend together. Even if things did not work out as expected, you can still be friends with a person. Keep an open mind.
Rory spent the first few years of his life in an ice cave, carving out his palace of wonder. He's a bit of a love doll, but he who melts the ice shall have their reward.
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I have been recommended to acknowledge and process all that I have been though, where it all started from how it has affected me.