Reading last night’s messages, I can see exactly what was on my mind. Sex or death. Who else can dance the night away, experience rejection by 3 different men, spend £0 on alcohol, have their pasta waiting for them in the fridge at home, cool down current date while warming up the next, and still remain standing?
We made eyes but I did not even attempt with Jula. My Self Esteem got the better of me. Even I have my limits. If I do find myself rejected 3x, at least ensure I have fun and that I am physically comfortable (i.e., drinking enough ice and water and not going overboard while maintaining my game plan).
Meanwhile, I was warming up Sanjo for the following week. Did my messages reveal that I was experiencing rejection?
[19:04, 23/07/2021] Sanjo: Haha nice. You have talent
Meanwhile, HF tried calling me at 23:49. I did not expect that to happen. Cue cheap Britney imitation "I was born to make you happy".
[23:44, 23/07/2021] HF: My friends are missing you lol
I managed to just about stutter out a pseudo-surprised "HF" before walking from Marble Arch to Vauxhall, downing my pasta and collapsing in a drunken heap on my bed. Not a penny spent. AND my Self Esteem is still in one piece. Just about.
Nothing more that I needed to do. Hey, the guy knows that I am into him. If he is not into me, why is he trying to reach out? All that I needed to do was remind him of how much I am into him. If nothing else, that might be enough of a reminder to put him off.
[15:32, 23/07/2021] Jo: Hey
Rory spent the first few years of his life in an ice cave, carving out his palace of wonder. He's a bit of a love doll, but he who melts the ice shall have his reward.
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I have been recommended to acknowledge and process all that I have been though, where it all started from how it has affected me.