Reading last night’s messages, I can see exactly what was on my mind. Sex or death. Who else can dance the night away, experience rejection by 3 different men, spend £0 on alcohol, have their pasta waiting for them in the fridge at home, cool down current date while warming up the next, and still remain standing?
We made eyes but I did not even attempt with Jula. My Self Esteem got the better of me. Even I have my limits. If I do find myself rejected 3x, at least ensure I have fun and that I am physically comfortable (i.e., drinking enough ice and water and not going overboard while maintaining my game plan).
Meanwhile, I was warming up Sanjo for the following week. Did my messages reveal that I was experiencing rejection?
[19:04, 23/07/2021] Sanjo: Haha nice. You have talent
Meanwhile, HF tried calling me at 23:49. I did not expect that to happen. Cue cheap Britney imitation "I was born to make you happy."
"In order to make me happy, you must first make yourself happy."
Also, this is the song that Hafyz & I sang YouTube karaoke on our 3rd date. 11/01/22
[23:44, 23/07/2021] HF: My friends are missing you lol
I managed to just about stutter out a pseudo-surprised "HF" before walking from Marble Arch to Vauxhall, downing my pasta and collapsing in a drunken heap on my bed. Not a penny spent. AND my Self Esteem is still in one piece. Just about.
Nothing more that I needed to do. Hey, the guy knows that I am into him. If he is not into me, why is he trying to reach out? All that I needed to do was remind him of how much I am into him. If nothing else, that might be enough of a reminder to put him off.
[15:32, 23/07/2021] Jo: Hey
Rory spent the first few years of his life in an ice cave, carving out his palace of wonder. He's a bit of a love doll, but he who melts the ice shall have his reward.
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I have been recommended to acknowledge and process all that I have been though, where it all started from how it has affected me.