I am at G-A-Y roof terrace. With a guy. HF. I am feeling a little vulnerable, Like about to be used.
I Walked. 💥
Well done with my guy tonight 😊
I valued myself and my friendships more than him. And I want to love. And feel like I can hug and kiss. That is good self awareness. What is he doing on a dating app? If he does not wish to meet me? Or anyone? I respect his boundaries. He was on an app at GAY? OkCupid. Well at least that is a good app! Not Grindr. That is good.
He might have been hurt before. But I cannot self subjugate. I know what I want and need.
True. I went to the dark side, but only because all gay guys are on there. I have only logged in 2x. To be honest, it is confusing.
HF has pushed me away. Tonight, he said to me "we are not dating". And then he declared that my face looked sad. He told me to be happy. And to enjoy our time together.
I had to get away from him.
I have responded to HF. In a nice way. Let me see what he says.
When I was drunk, he was putting his arm around me and coming onto me..
I felt powerless. That is why I left. Because the lovely lesbian girls advised me to do so.
OK, great. I left to regain my autonomy.
I deserve better than this.
There are lots of fit guys on Westminster bridge. I keep noticing them. 😍
We cannot control a situation. We can define it by how we respond.
Control myself! That is what I do. All of the time. Most of the time, it works. But cannot be expected to get it right /“correct” every time. 🙄
So I note down everything that happened. And try to draw as much meaning and knowledge from it as possible. I write everything down.
Of course. We are only human. It is great for mental health to do that. 😊
I publish it openly. That way there is more incentive. I am speaking to someone. It is out there. It drives me and motivates me to do more. My thoughts and feelings are important. I deserve to be listened to.
I did not get enough out of tonight to feel like it was worth it. I spent £25 on a bottle of Prosecco for me and HF, plus a glass of Rose for Megan. But it is like planting seeds. You cannot force someone around to a certain way of thinking. But never underestimate the power of planting a seed. Next time, they will buy me drinks. And I might end up staying over. But tonight is all about deciding what I wanted to do in the moment, and how I felt about it. So, maybe the £25 was truly worth it, for self development purposes 😏
I am going to tell him: I hope he makes it to Heaven👌
I am not losing out.
Maybe that is a bit aggressive 😬
I never know. But also best not to spend too much if I am not confident that I will get it back.
I sent him this:
[00:56, 25/07/2021] Rory Duffy: Hey HF, I got home safely x hope you managed to find heaven,
Because he asked me to let him know 💁♂️
It sounds like I like him a lot! 😊😊
I do, but I like myself more, That is the important distinction. 👌
[02:11, 25/07/2021] Rory Duffy: Hey Megan, how was the rest of your night? Sorry I left early. HF was making me feel a little uncertain. I needed to get back to myself. Because I felt like I was being taken with him. Was he OK to you? Did he treat you well>
Now I am feeling more sober. I have thanked CW for helping me see sense tonight. I felt like he was not valuing me or the relationship that we have enough, and I noticed that I was not getting as much out of the relationship as I wanted to. It all seemed to be on his terms. So, I Walked. It was the hardest thing that I have had to do recently. But I feel so much better having done so. It was the right thing to do. I like him a lot. But I like myself a little bit more. And that is the most important thing. I am up for a relationship (of sorts) with him. But it has to be a relationship in which I feel good and comfortable. And if he is not helping me to feel that way, I just...have to seek other options (which pains me, because I like him so much).
I have thanked CW for helping me towards that decision, I definitely feel like it was the right one 🙏 we must give ourselves love and respect in order to move forwards in this world
I respect that he has been hurt in the past, and I respect his boundaries. But that must always come 2nd.
The ball is in his court. It is up to him whether he wants to reach out to me or not.
CW will be honest. She has just left a club with him and has has been quite horrible to her so she cannot defend him.
I needed to know that. I was about to ask her if he pulled another guy. He seems insecure. What did he do / say? It is OK if she does not want to tell me. I am aware that I have put all of this thought into it and receiving nothing back. I need her to tell me everything. If she can.
[02:20, 25/07/2021] CW [audio]: So I'm sending a voice note just surely because otherwise I'd be typing for ages. So... No, he didn't pull another bloke. And I'm being honest. No, he didn't. But, he... He's very friendly. He's very flirty with other men. But I think that's just gay men in general. But no, he became very... I don't know if I annoyed him or whatever, like, he just... Yeah, he started on me at every opportunity. And he'd be happy one minute. Then really angry the next. Happy then sad. And then... There was this one particular point where he was like telling everyone that he loved them, blah blah blah blah. I said "oh but don't tell Rory because I think his heart's broken enough", like jokingly. And he was like "go fuck yourself". And I was like "no, I was joking, that's not OK to say to me. He was like "yeah but that wasn't a funny joke" blah blah blah, just, like started on me and I was like "fine, whatever". Just left it. And then he forgot about that. He started talking to me about my tattoos again. And then... Yeah he went back to being angry at me again. And it just went on like that for about 3 hours. And then when Megan & I tried to leave, he didn't want us to leave and started trying to say that we should stay because he didn't have ID. He wanted to go to G-A-Y Late and then he got angry that we weren't going G-A-Y Late and it was just... Yeah, it was hard work, I've got to be honest, I found him quite exhausting. Obviously, I don't want this repeated to him because I just don't want the drama because everyone seems to have swapped numbers. I haven't swapped numbers with him but I'm aware that other people we were out with did. No, I just... Rory, I'm telling you this as someone who hasn't known you that long, admittedly, but you seem like a great bloke. And what I'm hearing from other people is that you are a lovely bloke. I would distance yourself, mate, honestly. Spend some time making friends. Getting yourself sorted. This just screams disaster and he just seems to be out for what he can get out of a situation. I wouldn't get involved if I was you, darling.
Why am I constantly finding myself in abusive relationships with guys who do not treat me well? Recently, I have been unlucky.
Last night, I introduced HF to the friends from my group. We went to G-A-Y. I spent £25 on a bottle of Prosecco (I am not sure how much of it I drank versus how much HF drank). HF appeared to be controling the way in which I feel (either generally or about him).
I am trying to piece together my memory. Of why I felt so uncomfortable about him. Or why he was not treating me well. Or why he made me feel so broken. It is all a little fuzzy and confusing. I need to pin it down to the tangible facts.
HF said "you and me, we are not dating, this can never happen". I could tell that he was simply saying this to protect himself. It is a boundary / façade. I have seen it in guys many times. I decided to simply listen and observe. Without judgement. Without revealing much about myself. Let him get on with it. But he kept saying that I looked sad and forlorn. And that I should be happy when I am with him. I insisted that I was feeling happy. Physically, I distanced myself from him. Just a little. He noticed and started looking at me and touching me again. I decided to play it cool and ignore these gestures. It seemed like mixed signals. There was a moment when he left the table to go to the bar. The girls who I was with were asking me if I am involved with him. I told them that we had been dating. But according to him, we are not dating. One of them said "not from where I am sitting! It looks like he is into you and he likes you."
I left partly because I felt too drunk but partly because he was making me feel uncomfortable. I needed reclaim myself. I walked home. I bought some pasta, pesto and cheese. I ate the entire jar of pesto and bag of cheese to make myself feel better.
There are much worse things in life to lose than £40 on 1 night out, 1 day's calorie score and a flat cap that he still has not given back to me.
I do not mind if I need to talk things through with friends. But if I end up embarrassing myself by sending a string of revealing messages to the group organiser about my private / personal relationships, it indicates that there is a problem and that I need to speak to someone about it.
There is a point at which I identify that a relationship is not giving me what I need. When I end up leaning on friends more than I do on whoever I am involved with. I am trying to protect myself. But I am not protecting myself by playing games.
How do I feel? Physically, I feel OK. A little tired but not hungover. Financially, I feel broken. Mentally, my mind feels scrambled. I am finding it hard to articulate myself. I am experiencing anxiety that I have said too much or declared HF's behaviour to the group organiser as "controlling". Maybe I might have simply said to her that he was making me feel uncomfortable? What if he joins the chit chat group and starts attending Meetup events? Emotionally, I feel a little sad. Weepy and emotional. Delicate. I might burst into tears at any moment. It is the alcohol. It affects my emotions. But I feel an overriding sense of relief. I have done the right thing by walking away.
Above all, I feel SAFE.
Maybe I need to take a break for a while. I have become crazy. I need to settle down. Alcohol certainly does not help. It makes me feel emotionally and mentally even more mixed up and trying to articulate myself. I need a few days break from drinking alcohol and becoming entangled with gay men.
I feel happy that I have sent the Last Message. Dumping HF with my gal pals and a bottle of Prosecco was a smart move. Just to observe what happened. Despite the financial and emotional cost. I have protected myself.
Of course, I was careful to do what he asked and message him when I arrived home. I played by the rules. Nothing else that I need to say or do.
With HF, I have said and done perfectly. Now need to patch up the rest of my life. With Jenny, I feel like I constantly message her and spill everything. It is embarrassing and anxiety-triggering. Maybe she does not mind. But I feel awkward about it. Drinking and messaging is not a sensible idea.
[10:36, 25/07/2021] HF: Lovely are you home now?
So, it carries on. I do not understand why he is asking if I am home now. I already told him that I got home safely? Maybe he is still drunk. Of course, I will respond. But in a way in which I am not engaging too much. And what is the point of leaving it for some time and agonising over it?
Message #1 requires no response or call-to-action. It has already been answered in the previous message.
Message #2 is general chit chat. I decided to respond with a 👍 like I do not care whichever way.
This was a suggestion that Sonia made on my birthday 2 years ago. Time to use it.
If he persists, I could casually remind him that he owes me a cap and a bottle of Prosecco. I could mention that he made me feel uncomfortable and that is why I left. But there is no point in saying that unless he asks. Which he might not. Because he is oblivious and / or does not care.
Yes, HF might pretend that he is not up for a "relationship". This is a façade. The oldest trick in the book. Afraid of commitment. I am sick of hearing those words uttered by insecure men who attend gay Meetup events. Well what else are they there for if they are not looking for relationships? Why are they tormenting us with their resolute presences? Not me. I have friendships / relationships with all sorts of people. I can fall in love whenever I want to, thank you very much. And in any relationship (whether or not we are dating), I need to ensure that I feel comfortable at every step of the way.
[21:22, 24/07/2021] Rory Duffy: Where are you
I attended CB's birthday party. I was grateful for it because I needed to be around people. At the party, I felt distracted.
I noticed that my anxiety level was at approximately 8/10. I was extremely jittery and nervous. I knew that this was partly due to the alcohol. I had drank for the last 3 evenings. I kept stuttering and slurring my words. Although I did not know most of the people at the party, I was beating myself up because I realised that I had a lot of stuff on my mind and I was bringing it to the table. It was hard for me to listen or pay attention to what was going on in the party (let alone asking anyone about themselves) because I was distracted and preoccupied.
I had a coffee and an omelette, which was exactly what I needed. Later on in the party, I started to relax. However, the only talk that I could make consisted of anecdotes about previous guys, dates and relationships. At one point, I started talking about what happened with HF. I knew that I had done the best thing possible by dumping him amongst my friends with a bottle of Prosecco, leaving the club and observing what happened afterwards. But I could not remember what happened or why he had made me feel uncomfortable. It was a confusing, hazy blur. I started crying in front of everyone at the birthday party. It was a mixture of crying and laughing. I was alright, I was only feeling emotional and needed to purge my emotions. People were advising me that I should block him. Tearfully, I insisted that I do not block or ghost people. It is not a nice thing to do. During the afternoon and into the evening, HF tried calling me and messaging me to check if I am OK.
I wish that I could remember more details of how I was feeling at the party and what I said. But I have not had much time to process everything since yesterday. So much has happened.
Rob was also messaging me. I fully intended to get back to Rob before getting back to HF. Because Rob deserves my time of day. Not some random guy from a dating app (HF). I have more time for Rob than I do for any other of these guys. I was trying to draft responses to Rob - even to tell him that I am at CB's birthday party and that I would get back to him later - but my anxiety was skyrocketing. I ended up putting my phone in CB's bag.
I discussed it with one of the girls at the party (Georgia). Georgia told me that if I am not cleansing my energy, my energy attracts the wrong types of guy. This is why I have found myself in 1 (potentially 2) abusive relationships within the same month. She advises me to take a break from dating, cleanse myself of the negative energy that I have acquired / am acquiring from these 2 guys. And start afresh once I have raised my vibration.
Today, HF has tried calling me a couple of times and messaging me. To be honest, I have been at a friend's birthday do and trying to concentrate on her but just feeling strange all day and not quite myself, trying to procrastinate for now until I feel ready. 😪
HF has been asking if I am OK. To be honest, I do not know what to say. I cannot remember what happened or why I felt uncomfortable. I handled it in the right way by leaving. But my memory is hazy and I am trying to piece everything together.
I remember that CW & I were talking but I do not remember what we were discussing. I was crying at my friend's party today because I felt so anxious and overwhelmed for no apparent reason.
I do not know if it was because of him, or me, or the alcohol making me emotional 😭 or a mixture of all 3.
Do I want CW to remind me? Yes please.
He friend zoned me in front of a couple of my friends and said that the two of us needed boundaries etc. He made it sound like I had misunderstood stuff but the situations like him staying at mine etc., is what couples do. And he even said that we were on our 4th or 5th date. He was giving mixed signals and then he said about me being on the spectrum which is why he did not want to upset me. It was crappy.
I do right by me and if that is talking to him, that is my choice.
He is calling. I am not [indefinitely] avoiding him. Just needing time to process. He might think that I am ghosting him, which I am not, it is more important what I think.
It is my choice.
He was touching me and giving me significant looks, even after what he said. I remember now. It was like his words were saying one thing and his actions another.
Yes, that is a good way to word what CW was trying to.
I do not know what he wants with me or why he is pursuing me, he knows that I like him but maybe he is not sure of what he wants with me. Did he exchange numbers with Yasmin or Megan?
CW thinks that he exchanged numbers with Yasmin as he stayed out with Yasmin for longer than Megan and I. But Yasmin was giving him more time than Megan and CW was. CW thinks that he knows that she was not impressed by it all.
On dates, I have seen him drunk dialling and gossiping with cousins, girlfriends etc. Yasmin has been in touch today and I want to be careful about what I say to her in case it reaches him. I need to think what would be the most comfortable solution for me right now. I have thanked CW for helping me fill in the gaps.
CW advises me:
Do what is best for me. If I want to tell him that I need space until you digest what was said, I can. But equally, that may start conversation and I may be trying to avoid it. She does not know.
[19:43, 25/07/2021] ERD [audio]: Hey Rory. Just to say that the gig on the 11th is a Pride gig not an RVT gig. Congratulations. Amazing. I can't wait to see you on the same day. Thank you for... It was lovely to see you today. You look amazing as always. I just wanted to raise a point to say, like, you know... You're a good-looking guy and you have a good personality to match. It's a very unique combination. Very rare. And something to treasure. And something that you must value yourself. And realise that. And to really, like, take time for yourself, like, I think now's the time to heal and be a bit selfish and love yourself a bit and spoil yourself a bit and maybe just not being involved with guys maybe for a bit. You've been on a bit of a rollercoaster. And I think you and Rob still have something by the sound of things. I think this other guy might be a bit of a cover up. Anyway, I just think you need to take time for yourself and realise your qualities that you have. You know. Yeah. I'm just going to say that basically as a friend, you know. Like, I guess, personally, for me, like, if I was Rob or anybody else, personally, I would have snapped you up a long time ago, ha! But that's a past thing. Personally, because I just think that you're a gorgeous guy on many levels. And... But I just feel you need to protect yourself a little bit and put up that shield that everyone... that some guys seem to give you. Put it up yourself. You're entitled to it. I mean... So yeah... Just look after yourself a bit. And also, don't be afraid to take a break from some of the stuff you do for the LGBT community. Because if it's good, people will reach out to you and thank you and respect you for having a break. Do you know what I mean? I just think that's quite important, really, as well. You give quite a lot, you know. Sometimes, you need to do something for yourself. You've got to focus on your... for example, you've got to focus on your, like, creative side, your stuff, your music stuff, the stuff that your people... people... I don't know, like, like, thank you for and appreciate you for and know you for. I think sometimes, yeah, prioritise a little bit? Do you know what I mean? I guess it's a case of like throwing yourself and devoting your time to music, to cleanse and focus on yourself and not other people and that kind of thing. Yeah. Anyway, I'm going on a rant. Anyway, that's enough of me. I'm on a train to home. My train gets into Brighton at 8:07. And my man will meet me there. At 8:07. So yeah, I'm sending you much love, and I'm looking forward to seeing you very soon. Take care. Stay safe. Stay creative. Stay beautiful. And... Yeah... And... Stay strong. And take time for yourself. Look after number 1. Yeah. Right. Much love. Take care. Bye.
Thanks hun. 😭
No worries, just keeping it real.
ERD is so kind. I cannot stop crying.
😳 I should take a few slow breaths and have a glass of Malbec. I will feel better.
You know what, HF has been trying to contact me all day and I needed some time. The problem is that much of it I could not remember and my lesbian friend has been helping me fill in the gaps. Apparently, he friend zoned me in front of my friends and then was hitting on me, made some reference about me being on the spectrum, said we needed boundaries but then said we were on our “4th date”, all a bit confusing and mixed up, I have sent him this for now.
I have thanked CW. I have been crying again. I have been with some friends this afternoon, which has helped a lot, I just needed some time, I have sent this for now.
There is not anything wrong with what I have sent. Do what is best for me.
Thanks 🙏 he said “OK sure” I will leave it for now, just need time.
Time is a great healer. I will get there!
Meanwhile, over in the 20s & 30s group organisers, the dispute was continuing to erupt. It was turning ugly.
For the last few days, I have been keeping Jenny in the loop about stuff to do with HF.
[23:12, 24/07/2021] Rory Duffy: I’m in g-a-y balcony with HF
The following morning, I apologised to Jenny for sending her loads of messages last night. 🙈
By the looks of it, I was going through a situation. I hoped that she had a great time.
No, my love! Jenny is sorry for not replying! She fell asleep as soon as she got home! How did my night end?
That is OK. I am so sorry for bombarding Jenny! 🤗 hugs.
HF (the guy in the photos on chitchat) was acting controlling towards me so I left 😞 walked home and ate a whole jar of pesto.
Afterwards, I regretted declaring HF's behaviour as "controlling". I regretted not having simply said that he was making me feel uncomfortable. 26/07/21
Jenny says that I do not bombard her. She is sorry that she is "shit with texting". She describes herself as "dreadful" and "forgetful".
At this point, I nearly said that I trigger myself through my own behaviour. I am incessantly texting Jenny whenever I am drunk. Revealing all sorts of details about my inner thoughts and my private life. 26/07/21
Regarding the events, Jenny does not want to do the park event on Saturday afternoon as it will take people from the evening one. She has tried that before and it ends up getting half the people. As people do not want to do a full day.
Fair enough. So, I guess revert to the alternating Saturdays Retro/early and Little Ku/late. Park on Sunday might be the best plan. That way, there is also more spread of events and more options and choices for people. I could host some park Meetup events on a Sunday. Fridays might be tricky for me because it would clash with GS + SBGG.
Jenny totally appreciates that I might not want to. But if it would be of interest to me, I could maybe do a joint event with the GS group? But that is gay men, though, no? So, perhaps they would not be happy. Or perhaps it is not gay men.
I did not respond to this. I was feeling delicate and anxious. I wanted to say that, from knowing GS, they would not be up for that. I remember my conversation with TP (05/08/2020). How he had met Jenny and they clashed. I am pretty sure that I once mentioned TP to Jenny but she said that she did not remember having met him. Anyway, I did not want to say that the GS group would not be up for it, because it would sound like I am "predicting" (despite TP mentioning to me on Friday night that he has stepped down as an organiser from that group). But that is another story. 26/07/21
Jenny apologised for sound "like a bitch". But she did not want to lose people at the later Meetup. They [the other 4 admins] have been attending for "like two minutes" [Rory has been attending for two years]. The group worked perfectly without any other admins for years. And now it is turning into a headache.
I hope that Jenny is OK. Yes, it does seem so. I apologised to her for being a bit out of it. I am dealing with some personal stuff (HF). I thought that she had posted the above to the organisers group. I apologised for not responding before. Today, my mind is all over the place.
I agree with Jenny that she has the benefit of experience and knows what works and what does not work. I know that she values people's opinions and takes all factors into account. It is impossible to please everyone. Indeed. I advised Jenny to take her time. No rush or pressure to act immediately or make hasty decisions.
Jenny thanks me for my understanding. ❤️
No problem. Maybe sleep on it. I am sure that she will do fine by the group 🤗 she brought us all together in the first place!
While I was performing on stage, Jenny tried to call me 3x.
Can I please add her as an admin in the chit chat group. They [the other 4 admins] deleted her. And I am the only admin left.
OK Rory. I need to do Jenny a favour. As I am the only admin left. They have literally removed her from the group! So I NEED to delete them all. As they are trying to take over.
I am on stage.
WAIT LISTEN. DELETE ANNA. NOW.
From the chit chat group. Delete as an admin. And on the Bucket 2 WhatsApp group. And Bucket 1. If I could do it ASAP. Just Anna for the moment.
Give me 5 minutes.
I finished my performance and called Jenny. Exasperatedly, she explained that the other 4 admins have revolted against her and chucked her out of her own group! She has had a word with Tom. They both agree that I am a decent person. She instructs me to remove Anna from both the chit chat group and Bucket 2. I tried while she was on the phone. It did not work. With WhatsApp groups, the person who created the group cannot be kicked by another admin. They can only leave on their own accord. Immediately, I explained to Jenny that this could not have been helped even if I did pick up her call now. I apologised for the poor timing. Jenny seemed agitated but taking it well. She reluctantly accepted that the admins can now use the WhatsApp groups for their own purposes. Fine. Let them do whatever they wish. I checked Bucket 1. Still in tact. She has kicked the other 4 admins and kept herself and me as an admin (later, she also removed me as an admin).
Back to Rob...
Rob messaged me. "Hey darling x you OK?" Yes.
Me? I apologised to him for the lapse. This afternoon, I have been at CB's birthday party in Vauxhall Parco Cafe. Now, I am at the THT. Cool how was it? It was fabulous, I caught up with ERD and met some nice people. I had a delicious cheese omelette, chips and salad with a coffee. Just a really nice relaxing afternoon.
How was Quebec? Complete drunken debauchery craziness, ended up breakdancing on the floor 😅
Oh my. Haha 🤣 it was insane.
Why? Rob knows what I get like, especially when I drink. Euphoria, carried away, extreme high. I go a bit crazy. 😬
I need to come back gently to earth and not have a crash land.
Rob says that he has not yet seen me crazy. He has. 😌
When? When I took that overdose on 20/10/2019. When we were at the Clapham Common picnic august last year playing frisbee etc, Eagle night dancing to Whitney. Loads of times. 😆
I told him to contact my angels. They would explain everything. 😔
Read More: 21/10/2019
What is wrong? I was feeling weird all day, and I was watching a poetry evening and performing sax at the THT. Just got home. Now, I am feeling better. I apologise to Rob again for acting AWOL.
In what way? Alcohol.
All weekend? Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
I felt that I needed it? Last night, some stuff happened and I could not remember much of it. All that I knew is that I felt uncomfortable and left. I did not understand why I was feeling emotional today. One of the girls I who was with last night helped me fill in the gaps.
How much did I consume? Which evening? 😅
I was on the floor like JLo. Albeit with less style and more grind. 👌
Sure, I had lots of style. 💃
I love Rob. In what way? I wish that I knew. 😘 😘
[19:02, 25/07/2021] Sam: Thinking about this a bit more, I'm actually thinking that a Sunday park thing, and Saturday bar is a bad idea... and we should officially have a park meetup then bar meetup on Saturday. For a few reasons:
Lily created group "What in the actual gay"
[22:06, 25/07/2021] Claire: Yeah, I'm on a fucking date
[21:45, 24/07/2021] Jenny: To anyone attending tonight, all donations are appreciated. Meetup allows for a membership fee which would cover subscription and venue costs but we have decided against this in favour of optional donation. So if you’d like to help the group keep running, use the following link and click tip. Apple/Android Pay & PayPal.
[21:45, 24/07/2021] Jenny: To anyone attending tonight...
[04:57, 25/07/2021] Cyrece: Great night. I'm home now.
[14:01, 25/07/2021] Cyrece: I put in a fiver. But I'm planning on paying a tenner a month also.
[14:44, 25/07/2021] Jenny: Thanks guys 😍
[21:56, 25/07/2021] +44: I’ve heard that meetups in the park have been cancelled for the future? Can someone explain the reasoning behind this as it’s a bit disappointing if I’m totally honest!
[22:19, 25/07/2021] Cyrece: Let's not have a bitch fest...
[22:26, 25/07/2021] Cyrece: Has Jenny left this chat?
[22:06, 25/07/2021] +44: I think most people prefer park meet ups now, people are different than from a few years ago
[22:32, 25/07/2021] +44: Exactly. Why sit indoors if the weather is nice...
[22:36, 25/07/2021] Cyrece: @Lily I take it that Paypal account belongs to Jenny and Jenny alone
[22:48, 25/07/2021] +44: Erm did anyone know about a speed dating thing? Jenny asked if I could be free to host it Friday 😆 I’m so confused… would anyone be interested if I actually tried to organise this?
[22:50, 25/07/2021] +44:
[22:52, 25/07/2021] +44: Pretty sure I’ve met Jenny
[22:58, 25/07/2021] Cyrece: So what's the plan going forward? A new Meet Up page?
[23:13, 25/07/2021] +44: Omg i left for a little while and a lot of shit has seemed to have happened
[23:20, 25/07/2021] +44: I’m so lost on whats going on but that’s probably because I’m new
[23:32, 25/07/2021] Seyi: Well, this chat has provided plenty of entertainment for my Sunday night!
[23:37, 25/07/2021] +44: What’s happening in Scotland?
Rory spent the first few years of his life in an ice cave, carving out his palace of wonder. He's a bit of a love doll, but he who melts the ice shall have his reward.
332 Brixton Road
Samaritans, 24 hours, on 116123 or email:
I have been recommended to acknowledge and process all that I have been though, where it all started from how it has affected me.