I spoke to my parents. They reprimanded me on account of the WhatsApp birthday message from Avi. Reminding me that they thought that I had deleted it. I told them that I lied. OK. I lied I was not in a fit state to re-hash the knowledge that I had found out. It was not the birthday message that triggered me. It was not Avi. OK. It was something else that they do not know about. I could not tell them what it is because I am still processing it myself.
I explained that I am in pieces. What happened the other day was merely the tip of the iceberg. I cannot simply be fixed with sellotape and glue. It will not happen overnight. I need time. There is a big part of my life that I have not shared with anyone. Decades worth. I must be allowed to work through it if I am going to be able to see my next birthday.
Rory spent the first few years of his life in an ice cave, carving out his palace of wonder. He's a bit of a love doll, but he who melts the ice shall have his reward.
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I have been recommended to acknowledge and process all that I have been though, where it all started from how it has affected me.