[11:34, 31/05/2021] HZ: I just wanna say something and please correct me if I'm wrong...
I am sorry to hear that HZ is feeling this way. Although I understand the reasons why. I have been attending the Meetup events but not participating in chats because I feel uncomfortable about expressing my opinions on the WhatsApp group (having seen a couple of people being bullied for it), so I only post factual information on there like who we are meeting, where and when. Half the time, I do not know who I am speaking to! But the Meetup events themselves have been friendly. I have the WhatsApp group on mute and only check it when I have a spare moment. The Meetup events have been friendly and welcoming and I have met some nice people. Sometimes people behave differently online to how they would in person.
It feels like a whole new group to HZ and he did not want to show up when no-one even bothered to say "yes sure". It can feel daunting to turn up to a Meetup event on your own, it is not as easy as some people make it out to be. It is hard when you have not done it for some time. It does not feel welcoming, at all. People seem quick to judge and dismiss others. There is a lot of name calling... 😞
It feels like a virtual playground.
Are all groups like this? I am in several LGBTQ groups. I come across it a lot. I am only attending 2 groups 20s & 30s + GS regularly, plus organising SB&GG.
I have missed HZ 🤗
I would have asked him personally about coming but I thought that he lost interest... 😕
Lost interest in me? In relation to how I responded to what happened last Halloween (Read More: 04/11/2020), I needed to disguise what was said by deflecting the conversation back onto the topic at hand. By saying that I can see why! Phew close one! 😅 HZ has felt intimidated, especially when he did not know anyone who attends them anymore. Do I go to any Meetup events from this group? Yes, I have been attending every Saturday since beginning of April except for the last 2 Saturdays I attended GS. Is GS as highly attended as it was in August? Do loads of people still go? Yes, GS has been highly attended, lots of people every time 😃
That is cool. HZ has the app and receives the invitations. However, he only sees like 7 people attending so he skips it. Well, it takes courage, difficult to do if you have not done so in a while. There are some lovely people in the 20s & 30s group. I am sure HZ will be in good company. Does anyone else from the previous group still attend the 20s & 30s Meetup events? Yes, lots of the same people have been coming each week.
Once you are there in person, meeting people in real life, it is a lot easier. The WhatsApp environment can create a false hostility because people might express themselves differently on social media to how they would in person, which can be a turnoff. I tend to cut out participating in the group debates etc., and use it for the actual meetings!
I have invited HZ to meet me beforehand if he is attending a Meetup if it is helpful. That would be nice! He will let me know when he would be able to attend one 😊
It took HZ some time to write that message because he wanted to ensure that it was "PC" (politically correct). Sometimes it is OK, but we are young people who want to meet new friends and he wishes that there was some leniency.
Well, what is “PC” anyway? As from what I have seen there are different degrees between what one person thinks as “PC” and another, and that’s the risks that we take when messaging large groups. I have seen people overreact to statements that I did not think were that bad and then try to enforce political correctness. I thought that what HZ wrote was fine, though! 😊
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